!!!! ty so much Jesus. ty ty ty. You love us SO much more than we could possibly love you. Let me live in humility through all this, and show your disciples Your heart for this city. Let your holy fire burn away all fear, doubt, and lies.

“In all our failures, God is still there, but he wants us to seek Him, He wants us to knock and to go out and pursue. And yeah, we don’t have all the answers, but I know God meets us!” -Matt

As the people disperse and company thins, the fount of my joy & delight slows to a steady trickle. As I walk back and approach “home,” the streetlights dim and I find myself in vulnerable darkness. As the sound of others’ voices fall silent, the invasive lies grow louder and fight to overcome what I know as Truth. And finally, I sit down and fall again…

My eyes dried of all radiance and hopefulness. My knees smashed of all strength. My hands beaten of all purpose. My head coerced and bowed low. All in all, my spirit broken and stripped of all the planks and nails I’ve put up in my own efforts to ensure my own safety and righteousness. 

This is my prayer Lord. Say to me, “You are my beloved, and You are forgiven and made free.”

Bind it to my hands, my feet. Remind me every morning, and make it painfully known to me through my days. Let it fill my lungs and invade every pulse of my heart. Without Christ, I am nothing.

Paul Lasaine - Prince of Egypt

(via animationtidbits)

Photograph by Julie Adnan, Reuters

“Iraq—Some 160 miles northeast of Baghdad, in a Sulaymaniyah music hall ravaged by war, looting, and neglect, a violin-playing boy sounds a note of hope.”

Love!

I read utmost this morning. Recently, I’ve been just skimming it because I feel that his short quotations of scriptures weren’t quite juicy enough for me, but soon I defaulted to reading the title. If the title was convicting enough I would read. (I know how ungrateful and prideful of me… )

But the last few mornings I have had trouble focusing on God whilst praying. I have been feeling overwhelmed and stressed and feeling almost disconnected from God because there just seems like there is too much going on and I’ve just lost Jesus in the crowd. But I know he is in the crowd. Not a good sign. uh uh no. But I realized what was wrong.

The fundamental principle of “deny yourself” wasn’t carrying itself in my mornings or life for the past few weeks. And I can’t lift up my cross if I haven’t given myself up. But it changed this morning even before I read utmost. I prayed a reminder this morning that (probably only the Holy Spirit could have instilled in me) I recognize that this life I have, this day I have belongs to God and Him alone. And when I try to own it myself and do things on my own strength its going to feel like too much because it is too much. 

Everything he has put in my life he put in so that we can do it together and if I’m not going to do it with him. Let’s just say, I’m setting myself up for failure. Point being made, we can’t follow Jesus thinking we can hold on to what we want. It isn’t a pick and choose situation. True faithfulness to God demands everything. So we fail, thank God for grace. But its still not okay to be unfaithful, so to end this, the word abandon from Oswald, was a confirmation of my prayer this morning. Abandon we must.

I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”
…
Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow’r, and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.

May I find my hope and worth during outreach and evangelism in Jesus’ finished work. By His grace alone. Truth > my feelings of not being useful, not having good enough conversations.  

Sacha Chimkevitch, Quartet, c. 1960’s. via

So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul - a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek.

(emphasis added) 

I am being renewed everyday. And I am blessed beyond anything I could ask for or imagine. I am filled with complete awe and amazement of God, His ministry of grace and reconciliation, and the life he has promised us abundantly. Coming back home was hearing His voice for me ever so consistently… constantly whispering, tugging, comforting me… I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU. 

Going higher and higher. More, Jesus, MORE.